Domestic Sacrifice

     The house is a disaster.
     Walking barefoot is dangerous, and not recommended for people who's feet are not covered in thick, hobbit-like layers of protective calluses. Scattered like caltrops are bits of plastic and wood, the sharp little waste pieces cast off and left hiding in the carpet. Amongst them, like rattlesnakes in the grass, are the occasional pin or sewing needle. The only hope to avoid injury are the layers of discarded cloth, leather, and foam that cover the floor like an impromptu patchwork rug. The cats stalk pen and paper left carelessly on the coffee table, along with the occasional tangled wad of discarded thread. The tile and pergo of the kitchen and dining room are hidden under a fine layer of sawdust, so that we can easily track our footprints to and fro. All this is in addition to the normal scraps of dirt, leaf, and pine needle tracked in from the back patio and the orange-and-gray tumblefurs that blow across the landscape in the breeze of the fan. They have not seen there normal ritualistic culling by vacuum and broom, and their population explodes out of control.
     The exterior has been equally neglected. Killer parasitic vines strengthen their foothold upon the outer rim of the territory. Gardens, once tended and cared for, are left to fend for themselves. They fight weeds and parasites while wallowing in a sea of old, rotting mulch that is long overdue for replacing. The house itself, once a bastion of order, a fortress of control standing over the tamed landscape, stands ignored. Its walls are half-painted, left a jarring clash of colors that differ from wall to wall. In one particular area, a poignant reminder: the new coat gives way gradually to the old, where the painter has laid down his brush and sprayer and abandoned his task. It is a testament of just what has fallen victim to the emotionless triage of the times.
     But I have a doublet, a lyre, a rapier, and--most importantly--a jaunty hat. My wife is armored in studded leather and wields a crossbow. When Dragon*Con comes, we will not be found wanting.
     And the convention is only four days long.
     Soon, mess, your day of reckoning will come.

My Abandoned SF

     In my last post, I referred to my "top twenty," indicating that I had a list in my head of my favorite movies and TV shows (in this instance, of the science-fiction genre). I must admit, this is not exactly true, in the sense that I don't have such a list currently constructed. I know, you feel cheated and lied to, but I promise I'm working on said list as we speak. It's actually harder than it seems, because it's not just a matter of thinking of twenty good science fiction shows/movies, but ones that are good enough to make a list out of. I'm actually only up to fifteen at this moment.
     In the meantime, I've realized that there are some ostensibly seminal works of the genre that I have never been able to get myself to sit down and watch completely. Don't get me wrong, I'll probably try to get around to most of them eventually. But they're pretty low on my priority list. Also, let me mention that I'm only going to talk about shows that I tried (or am trying) to watch, but just can't drum up the enthusiasm to continue. I'm not much one for going back to watch classics just for the sake of seeing them, so no, I'm not even going to mention things like Lost in Space and crap like that.  So, feel free to mock and scorn me for the following:

Would you feel better if I said I was referring to this one?

     Battlestar Galactica. I've actually just now started to sit down and watch the show on Netflix, and it is part of the reason I even had the idea to make this post. I had no real interest in watching BSG while it was on the air. Too much drama is the main drawback, I think. While I like some paranoia and intrigue as much as the next guy, I can only take so much in one sitting. I was expecting more space battles and robot-shooting, and so far it's not delivering the goods.
     Babylon 5. I may be most ashamed of this one. I love J. Michael Straczynski; his comic series Rising Stars is probably the best vision of realistic portrayals of superheroes in the modern world since Watchmen. And many people have recommended it to me highly (people who's opinions I actually value, too). But I made it through only a handful of episodes of this one before I had to admit that I was bored all the way through, the effects are laughably outdated, and none of the actors were particularly compelling. Again, call me un-intellectual, but I need some kind of action going on in my science-fiction.
     Star Trek. Any of them. I watched a good bit of Next Generation and Voyager while they were on the air, but not all of them, and I did not follow them closely enough to remember anything but the most large, vague points. I just never could get behind the universe that Star Trek is set in. I think the pseudo-science gets to the point of ridiculousness, such as the holodeck, the replicators, and beaming technology. I have a hard time believing that a society that could create holograms that could be physically interacted with, machines that could make damn near anything out of thin air, and safe teleportation would have any reason to explore the universe. I mean, the friggin' universe can pretty much just come to you in the safety of your own home with that combination of technology. Also, I can't get behind the idea that 90% of the alien races out there look like humans with just varying amounts of head-ridges.
      Stargate Universe. I love the other two Stargate shows (SG-1 and Atlantis), but SGU was trying too hard to be BSG and that just killed it for me. I'm going to just come right out and say it: unrelenting drama and interpersonal conflict is no substitute for shooting aliens. Also, the other two Stargate shows had a healthy dose of wit and humor tossed in, which made them overall more enjoyable shows. Add to this a cast of characters that was not able to boast a single likable character, and I just gave up after a handful of episodes.
     Lexx. Again, I've heard good things about this show, by people who should know better. I'm also usually a fan of "cult" shows. But this one just isn't very good, really. The acting and writing is B-grade (which I understand is supposed to be part of its charm), and the special effects don't quite stand the test of time. This is another show where I could not find a single likable character in the entire cast, which is going to be the final nail in the coffin of whether or not I'm going to take the time to watch it.

     Honorable mention goes to Andromeda and V, which I have never tried to watch. In all fairness, though, they're not on Netflix yet. So, if they ever do, I'll give them a try. But I'm certainly not interested enough to go out of my way for it (which says a lot in itself).
     I'd love to hear your guys' opinions on the above mentioned shows. I'm not saying your going to convince me to give them another try, but I'll say I'm willing to entertain arguments in their favor. Have at.

Space Confederates

     I'm going to say something that will likely shock and appall many: Firefly/Serenity are not my favorite pieces of science fiction.
     Don't get me wrong, they're quite entertaining as these things go. They certainly make my top twenty (so long as we're only counting TV and movies). But, alas, I am far from being able to associate myself as a Browncoat (for those of you unfamiliar, this is the adopted term of rabid fans of the show).
     The problem is, this is one of those universes that rubs me the wrong way the more I think about it with my logical, grown-up mind. What it all boils down to is that the universe of Firefly/Serenity is attempting to mirror the western genre. And it does this fairly well with all the frontier aspects, just substituting space for the western half of the American continent. What the show also does is give us the ex-Confederate soldiers that litter most Westerns.
     That's what the Browncoats are in the show. They are a group of militant separatists that lost a civil war against the prevailing unified government. Not that they're bitter about it, except for all of them who totally are (i.e. pretty much all the main characters).
     I've mentioned this before, and the fans of the show seem to get all bent out of shape when you suggest that the Browncoats are really just the Confederates of the American Civil War. Honestly, I thought that was part of the appeal. I mean, I live in south (at least, as "south" as Atlanta is considered). Most people around here still have Confederate flags plastered on their pickup trucks and hanging from their front porches. Rednecks still declare that the "South will rise again," so I just assumed that people want to like Confederates.
     No, what I've found is that people like underdogs, and they want to empathize with somebody who is being oppressed and downtrodden. And I'm all for that, to an extent.
     The Browncoats, unfortunately, exceed that extent. See, in the show, the Browncoats fought a war because they wanted freedom from an Alliance that was presumably infringing upon their rights. I say presumably, because that's not actually part of the show. We never really get any reasoning for the fighting aside from "evil empire is evil." Oh, sure, we find out later there are factions of the Alliance that are experimenting on children to breed psychic supersoldiers or that are experimenting with plagues that will make people docile and more easily governed. But that was all discovered years after the war was over. So what was the justification of the bloodshed at the time? Was there taxation without representation? Or did some people just decide that they didn't want any more of this civilization crap and wanted to go off on their own. And really, in a universe with dozens of habitable worlds (most of which are dusty hellholes that are barely capable of sustaining life), would the Alliance really fight to keep the hillbillies from striking out on their own?
     Of course, we'll never know, since the entire thing was just 13 episodes and a movie, and there will never be anymore. But anytime I try to watch it again, I can't stop this nagging feeling in the back of my head that the crew are just rebels without a cause. And nowadays, that crap just doesn't float with me. I get frustrated with people who are so divorced from reality that they think grand gestures (like fighting futile wars against vastly superior armed forces) are going to make any difference at all. I can only imagine how many lives were lost in vain just so that some people could make a point about how they were grumpy that the Alliance was cutting into their dirt farming ventures.
     It's like the realistic moral and ethical dilemmas of blowing up the Death Star in Star Wars...but I think Clerks already covered that philosophical debate well enough, so I won't bother.

Costume Chaos

     It's nearing September, and around here that means it's Dragon*Con season. More specifically, this means its time for everybody to start panicking about having their costumes done in time for the convention. 
     I'll admit, I'm still only dipping my toes into the deep, treacherous waters that are cosplay. My wife is much bigger about it (and better at it); she's been doing cosplay since before I even knew it was a thing. I've mentioned before about how she's a crafty person, and this extends to sewing and prop-making and all the other weird little things that go into making a costume (or even an outfit of regular clothes, really). I've got other friends who have similarly dived in head-first, making elaborate get-ups and suits of armor out of foam and cardboard. I'm usually mostly just awed at the creativity and skill involved, and how people can make such mundane items transform to look like something else. It's all very impressive.
     Of course, there are also times when I have to sit back and wonder why the hell they (I should say "we," really) put themselves through this. Living with a cosplayer, every year we go through two months or more of grief and frustration and toil to put together new costumes for Dragon*Con. This year it's even worse because she's making an outfit for me, which means I'm constantly getting dragged into the living room to get measured and fitted and asked baffling questions (like what direction I want the pattern on the fabric to face).
     Today, in a fit of pique, I asked her why she puts herself through months of aggravation and work for a costume she's going to wear for a single day at a convention. Her answer quite effectively shut me up.
     "Why do you write stories that are frustrating and time-consuming and that might never be read by anyone?"
     A hit. A palpable hit.
     The answer, of course, is because I have no option not to create. The fact that my hard-drive is full of stories (finished and not) that will likely never see the light of day doesn't stop me. Currently, the prospect of getting any publication that I don't do myself seems slim at best. Yet still I continue to crank out crappy geeky fiction as if it weren't potentially a complete waste of time. I ask why one would make a costume that will only be worn one day at Dragon*Con? Far more people will see the fruits of that labor in a single afternoon at a convention than will probably ever read my stories.
     So the moral of the story is that the artist suffers for his or her creation, although that suffering might just come in the form of needle-pricked fingers or hot-glue-burned hands. Either way, creativity comes in many forms, and those of us who are bitten by said bug are doomed forever to spend our free time working just as much as we do at our jobs (if not more).

For those interested, my wife has been working on making me a doublet not unlike this one.

Of Comics and Their Shoppes

     I don't really buy comic books anymore. At least, not in the month-by-month sense, where I follow an ongoing series. Back in the day I even had a subscription to X-Men so that it would be sent to my house every month. As recently as four or five years ago, there used to be three or four titles that my wife and I would run out to pick up on a monthly basis. Now, there's nothing.
     I'll still buy a trade paperback or two. But only if its on sale, and only if it is not part of a series that goes on too long. Generally, I like to wait until a series has ended its run, so that I can just gorge on the whole thing at once (much like the way I watch TV series, once they get to Netflix).
     I chalk a lot of it up to my impatience, but it's just as much about frugality as well. For starters, a single issue is up to around $5 now, which is pretty insane for a 20-30 page comic.  I mean, I don't feel like I'm getting a lot of value for my dollar; that comic doesn't take me more than 15 minutes to read. I'd actually be getting more for my money going to the movies, even at $12 a ticket. Not to mention if I'm following an ongoing series, that 30 pages is all I get for an entire month. Hell, I can't even stand waiting a week to get 43 minutes of content while watching a TV show on the air. I honestly can't even imagine how comic books make any money, considering what crappy value they give their customers.
     I wouldn't care if it weren't for the fact that I have some strange, deeply-imbedded longing to read comics. Actually, what I really miss most of all is just the act of going to the comic shop. Part of it is the nostalgia, while part of it is the feeling of retreating to a sanctum full of "my people." Like going to a convention, there's something comforting (even if somewhat smelly) about being surrounded by geeks.
     And I mean real geeks, not the people who think they're gamers because they play Rock Band or think they're nerds because they like the new Batman movies or The Avengers. No, I'm going to have to go a little hipster on you now: I'm talking about geeks who read comics before they became movies and still get together to roll funny-shaped dice and pretend to be wizards. People who have--and may still be--outcasts because of their interests and hobbies.

     See, there aren't any good comic and game stores around me. I mean there are plenty in my town and the neighboring towns, but none of them quite have the variety of the one I got used to growing up. It could just be rose-colored glasses, but the comic shop of my childhood really did seem superior to all the ones I can go to now. Part of it was the selection; most of the shops around me now are comic shops, with only a slight interest in games and other miscellaneous geek stuff (like miniatures and movies). Or there are shops that just sell games (including more "mainstream" board games), without any comics. It's hard to get a one-stop geek shop in my area.
     Of course, even if there were good comic stores around me, would I go to them? Could I think of a justification for the gas and time to drive out there? I mean, I don't really want to buy comics, unless they have a truly excellent bin of TPBs on sale. I don't buy anything full price anymore: not movies, music, books, or comics. I can always wait and find them on sale or used (or both). So all I really want to do is walk around down the aisles, window shopping, pawing at things, and generally being a nuisance to the employees of the shop without actually spending any money. And that just seems like a real dickish thing to do.
     I guess this is all part of growing up, trying to be responsible and all. And maybe some day a comic will come along that is so mind-blowingly amazing that I have no choice but to rush out and get it as soon as I can.
     I'm open to suggestions...

Realignment: True Neutral

     The final alignment to look at would be Neutral. It used to be called True Neutral (the term I still prefer), because it incorporate Neutrality from both the Law-Chaos axis and the Good-Evil axis.

     This another one of those alignments that has an "obvious" way to play it. True neutral was traditionally the alignment of druids or people who sought balance. The rationale was that only somebody who was trying to maintain some kind of cosmic equilibrium would be capable of true neutrality. Otherwise, some kind of bend would show up in one of the directions, leading the character towards one of the other alignments.

     Don't get me wrong, the balance option is just fine as a character option. But I think it is a lot harder to play than it really sounds like. For starters, if you have such a rigid stance on the idea of balance, that pushes you more towards Lawfulness. I mean, you would have to has such slavish devotion to equality that you perform an evil deed for every good one, and we've already covered how that kind of OCD quality is a characteristic of a Lawful character. A person seeking true balance would thus have to do things to create chaos in order to counteract the inherent lawfulness. Not to mention, by what criteria do you judge balance? Who's to say what is an equivalent evil or good act? Do you have to kill a person for every one you save? There are more questions than answers to how you honestly play somebody who seeks balance.

     Another option for neutrality is that the character doesn't care about issues of "right" and "wrong." Like an animal (anything with an Int of 2 or less) isn't capable of making moral judgment and thus is always neutral, this character may simply lack the introspection necessary to make ethical decisions. They just do what it seems like they should do at the time. In a lot of ways, this sounds like an evil character, but I think the difference is that an evil character makes conscious choices to hurt others for personal gain (or similar evil acts). But for this type of neutral character, their intent is not malicious. They simply don't think through the ramifications of their actions. It is more a matter of impulse-control than design (for example, they’re hungry and see an apple cart in the market, so they take the apple and eat it, not considering that this is stealing and stealing could be considered wrong). 

     Of course, like Chaotic Neutral, players can manage to misinterpret this alignment and come up with a character that seems more evil than anything. I have played a game where a person (the rogue, not surprisingly) was True Neutral because they thought that meant they could do whatever they wanted. Now, I think we could all generally agree that this is wrong, but that's not the point. The point is that "whatever they wanted," in this case, meant being a bastard to everybody in the party. He played closer to Chaotic Evil than he did True Neutral. He did not understand that not caring about being good was not the essence of neutrality, but is closer to evil. The absence of Good (or Evil, or Law, or Chaos) is not neutrality.

     Like everything that we've been saying for this series, what is important is coming up with a reason to make the alignment fit. If you're True Neutral, why is that? Why is your character unconcerned with good or evil? Why don't they want to choose between Law and Chaos. This is made much more difficult because you really need a reason for both. If you really want a challenge for you next character, I might suggest trying it. I'd like to see a True Neutral character who is very clearly not leaning in any of the other four directions.

Lame Excuse for Late Posts

I know I've been a lot more irregular than I mean to be on my posts lately. I've been pulling in a lot of overtime at work, which is good for my bank account but bad for every other project I have going on. It's a weak reason, I know, but it'll have to do. I'll try to work on my on-the-ballness and get another real post up in the next few days.

Leaving Lovecraft Country

     This is actually the last comic I made of Lovecraft Country. I've got the next handful written out, but I never got around to actually making them. Every once in a while I entertain the idea of going back to it, but that's a slim chance. I mean, it's certainly not the most interesting or entertaining thing I've ever done (and it's certainly the least popular of my blog posts), and my creative focus is on much different things these days. My vault of abandoned projects is filled with crap like this, and that's not likely to change.

     I still like having a mid-week post that's quick and easy, though. I might have to start throwing out some of my other old comics and stuff. If you think the art's bad on this, you should see the stuff I used to draw...